Thursday, June 16, 2011

Clean Up Aisle 3 year old...

When ya gotta go....ya gotta go.

Should've listened the first 5 times Maisy honked her crotch and danced in placed telling me she needed to go pee. Like I have thought numerous times before she has peed herself "if you act like you don't hear her, then magically she wont have to go." I think this thought derives from the umpteenth number of times she has said this to me, I drop everything, sprint for the nearest restroom and when we arrive at the toilet she toots and dribbles 2 drops.

I had one hour before Max needed to be picked up. "YES!" I thought to myself. "I can get this, this and this marked off of my list." So naturally, I packed Maisy in the car and we hit the first stop, the grocery store.

I have a love/hate relationship with the grocery store. I love that I am able to buy food and never have to worry about going hungry as long as HyVee Chinese is around. I despise grocery stores for these reasons. No daycare,smells like cantaloupe and cardboard boxes, the shopping carts with little cars stuck to the front of them and last but not least no one has ever greeted me with a glass of wine instead I get a piece of cheese or watermelon.

We are in HyVee no more than 2 minutes, I look over at Maisy and she's grabbing at her patootie. I purposely did not ask her if she needed to go to the restroom...because of what I stated above. I continue with my tasks. Look over again seeing her chucking dvd's in the bin with one hand and her other holding her patootie even tighter. OK, I am disturbed at this point, either she really has to go or I needed to have a lil chat with Sigmund Freud on what's appropriate and not.

I pay and turn around to slush my flip flops in a clear puddle. When I look at Maisy she looks relieved and has a sheepish smirk on her face. I said, "Maisy Grace, did you potty?" She grins, "SSSSSSsssYEs!" Oye. I turn around back at the counter and ask for paper towels and disinfectant.

All cleaned up on aisle 3 year old! We head to the bank. In the drive thru at the bank. The teller asks how she can help and I tell her. In the meantime, Maisy has unbuckled and wiggled out of her car seat. She says, "Mom, I need to potty". Now I ignore the teller, I am in potty panic mode...we are in the CAR...YIKES. I look all around my car...Ahhhh HA! A size 3 diaper(aka baby thong for Maisy) in the passenger door. Angels were singing for me. I unbuckle myself, still ignoring the bank teller. Twisting my body around I put Maisy into a diaper before this woman's eyes. My hair in my face, I settle back into my seat. I look over at the bank teller's face and see this perplexed look on her face, clearly not knowing what to say. "Phew, first time for everything....IM SUUUUUUPER MOM!" I said to her in the awkward silence. The teller uncomfortably smiles and hands me my money and a sucker and raises her eyebrows at me. I drive away.

I know I am not the first mother to ever have a public pee incident. But I do think I deserve a SUPER star of putting a small diaper (not the right size for my daughters goozie) just with the twist of my torso. That takes talent. Or let me think so anyways. I simply can conclude, EVERYONE I have ever met has a "story" of meeting me...maybe that teller and I will be friends someday and she can truly tell me what she thought about me:) Until then, pee-pee in the pottttttttayyyyy!

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