If this is what Kindergarten is about...Im IN!:)

Max working on his "homework" for his first day of school!!!

Kindergarten! Pass the kleenex, please

I wonder what you're doing right now,

And if everyone is treating you kind.

I hope there is a special person

A nice friend that you can find.

I wonder if the teacher knows

Just how special you are to me.

And if the brightness of your heart

Is something she can see.

I wonder if you are thinking about me.

And if you need a hug.

I already miss the sound of your voice

And how you give my leg a tug.

I wonder if you could possibly understand

How hard it is for me to let you grow.

On this day know that my heart breaks,

For this is the first step in letting my baby

go.

~ this was sent home with us from meet the teacher night and I have to say its a combination of all my feelings.

Without being completely melodramatic, I will say my heart breaks with a small amount of saddness and more excitement because I know how fun Max is going to have this year. It's just hard knowing I wont be that person having fun with him on a daily basis.

Tonight we celebrated as a family with a pizza party and a movie, Hunchback of Notre Dame...lol. Yes, that was Max's choice. As we were watching the movie, Max and Maisy snuggled close together and we talked some about school tomorrow. Casey asked Maisy if she was going to miss having Max around to play with and her sweet response was, "yes".

Lately, Maisy has been into folding her hands and praying. She calls them "thank you, prayers". Right after Maisy responded with "yes" she was going to miss Max, she folded her hands, squinted her eyes and said, "thank you for....thank you forrrrr....thank you forrrr... my brother Max." Already a mother with emotions dripping from her eyes about the fact her first baby is off to Kindergarten, I wept.

There is something tender and sweet about children. I know its hard to remember this when they are screaming, not listening, beating each other or you, throwing foreign objects at you in the car, stuffing toilet paper down the sink drain, playing in your favorite eye shaddow, hiding your shoes, digging in your purse for gum and loosing pieces of your "life" before your eyes... but beyond all this noise and chaos, I truly don't take these moments for granted. God's simple and gentle reminders of what this life is all about....the imperfections become perfection.

I admit I can loose my paitence, say words I cannot undo, stumble in being a "perfect" person, but I also can say its moments like sending your child to Kindergarten you are reminded of the kind of job you have done with them. I am proud of Max and how he is turning out with the hot mess of a mother he has...he's not bad:)

SO excited for tomorrow and already looking forward to picking him up:) ha! Wish me luck and pass the kleenex's please...sniff.sniff.

I love you forever...

As the sun began to peek its head this morning, my soul awoke too.


Laying with one size 8 and 13 bare feet in my face and a soft little hand resting on my arm, I laid still listening to my children breathe as they slept; just as I would when they were babies.


I was filled with a feeling like none other. An overwhelming amount of love, joy and saddness. You may be wondering how on earth can you feel love when you are sad or joy even for that matter. I am not talking about grief stricken pain, Im talking about the chords on my heart that were formed when I became a mother for the first time.

Tears have been pooling in my eyes at bedtime as I tuck my lil 5 year old munchkin in at night. One might think I need medication, but I know medication could not touch this feeling that I am feeling. I think its just a part of life. I've been referring to these moments as 'smilestones' they may make me tear up but my heart is smiling.

Packing Max's Batman backpack with all of his school supplies has been fun. I know I have been a mother for 5.5years however, today I truly feel I have stepped "into" a new chapter of motherhood. No longer packing toys, diapers, wet wipes, bottles, snacks or extra outfits. Now packing, lunches and making sure he is clothed out the door. Oh yea, and making sure he is NOT the smelly kid on the playground and spraying him with some Febreeze on his way out. Letting Go, I am finding is a hard concept for me in these moments in life.

To my son, Max, I know you can't read but you know the words to one of our favorite books, "I'll love you forever, like you for always, as long as Im living my baby you'll be."- although, I think its kind of creepy that the son climbed into his mothers window to hold her when she is in her blue hair years, I still like the message. I am excited and anxious to watch you blossom into a Kindergartner this year.



PS- to anyone reading this...please note, my blog site will be changing in the next couple weeks...I will contact you:)